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from “Color Me White

By (August 1, 2016) No Comment

A straight white male is gifted privilege. He added the whole allspice he stole along with the oranges he purchased in the self checkout line. The machine read WAIT FOR CASHIER but she automatically allowed him to proceed from her master computer.

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A straight white male is pulled over exiting a hotel.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

I’m sorry, I don’t.

You left that parking lot pretty fast.

Yeah…I just had sex with a married woman who is really unhappy with her husband and I’m not sure-

Jesus, you don’t have to tell me everything! Just go on home, okay?!?

***

A straight white male recognizes that he is less likely to be shot by police and less likely to receive as strong of a sentence for breaking the law as opposed to every other body in America. Is there a way to monetize this and create a service?

***

A straight white man posts a jpeg which states: CHRIS KYLE HAS OVER 100 CONFIRMED KILLS OVER AL QAEDA AND OTHER TERRORIST GROUPS. 1 SHARE=MASSIVE RESPECT. Another straight white man questions the logic of this jpeg. Another straight white man suggests the 2nd straight white man be killed by CHRIS KYLE.

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A straight white man buys a gun and becomes a white terrorist.

***

A straight white male spends a weekend with his family and realizes the closest a non-white comes to entering the cultural/conversational sphere is when the discussion of Tom Brady vs Cam Newton comes up. (Country, contemporary Christian, Eminem, How I Met Your Mother.)
 

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Kevin Thurston sometimes writes about food for dailypublic.com and sometimes writes press releases for justbuffalo.org. He met Mickey Harmon at a party and sent him the manuscript for “Color Me White” from which these pieces are taken. He’s very grateful to Mickey for illustrating the work and to Open Letters Monthly for selecting them.

Mickey Harmon has been illustrating with writers for years. A graphic novel about Grover Cleveland here, an illustration of a Victorian home there. It wasn’t until he met Kevin he was given the opportunity to illustrate the images you see before you. “Color Me White” is a great pile of words to which he made a great pile of lines to accompany it.

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