How Not to Talk to Your Professor

On the stairs of an academic building, 3 minutes before class time:

Student: Professor!

Professor (thinking is this one of mine?): Yes?

Student: I’m in your English 1010 class.

Professor (at least this one knows which English class): What is it?

Student: I just wanted you to know that I’m in sciences and I’m just taking your class because I need my writing requirement.

Professor: (here it comes) . . .

Student: The thing is I really don’t get English.

Professor: (Oh no, she’s heard about our secret code! I can’t just hand that out to someone in the sciences!) Well, you can meet your writing requirement in lots of subjects besides English.

Student: Honestly, I have to take this course because it’s the only writing class I can take and still fit in all the science classes I need.

Professor: Hmmm. Well, that’s unfortunate.

Student: Yes, it’s really awful.

Professor: . . .

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