It's been many long and peaceful months since the Open Letters Quiz was driven from the village
by a torch-and-pitchfork-wielding mob of local yokels, and in that time the houses have been rebuilt
and the crops have had time to grow, and 'Open Letters Quiz' has become just another semi-mythical
bogey-man used to frighten misbehaving children. But once it was very real, stalking the intellectual
highways and by-ways of the collective consciousness, rending and tearing the self-esteem of quiz-
takers everywhere. And now, just when you thought it was safe to venture to your local Trivia Night at
the Mottled Oyster, it returns, despite the complete absence of popular demand!
The format has changed a bit, but the guiding honor system remains the same: no Googling, no Wiki-
consulting - just you, your meager cultural memory, and the brightly-colored multiple-choice pleasure-
buttons. Let the games begin!
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Upon hearing news of the return of a hero to the vessel that carried him to fame, a trusted
subordinate exclaims, "Gave her back, sir? I doubt it was that easy with Nogura!" Who was the hero,
and which the vessel?
John Paul Jones and the Serapis
Horatio Nelson and the Victory
James T. Kirk and the Enterprise
Isoroku Yamamoto and the Akagi
What time-serving hypocrite (and talented poet) wrote the following lines, and about which vile,
—What may not then our Isle presume
While victory his crest does plume?
What may not others fear
If thus he crowns each year?
Horace and Augustus
Marvell and Cromwell
Byron and Wellington
Yeats and Casement
Who's the subject of these rococo lines, and who's auditioning for employment?
The sacred purple, then, and the scarlet gown,
Like sanguine dye to the elephants, was shown.
Thus when the bold Typhoeus scaled the sky,
And forced great Jove from his Heaven to fly,
(What king, what crown from treason's reach is free,
If Jove and Heaven can violated be?)
The lesser gods, that shared his prosperous state,
All suffer'd in the exiled Thunderer's fate.
George III and Robert Southey
Charles II and John Dryden
James I and Ben Jonson
George II and Samuel Johnson
Who's the chanteuse of this immortal excoriation?
So you're back, from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face,
I should have changed that stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key,
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
In Tolkien's The Return of the King, who is one of the healers who restores vitality to poor stricken Eowyn?
In the longest-awaited comic book return of all time, the character Winter Soldier was revealed to be which young hero, previously (and satisfyingly) considered dead:
While we're on the subject of comic-book heroes, which laconic leading-man played the title character in the film “Batman Returns”?
Book 17 of Homer's Odyssey tells of a long-awaited return - who's doing the returning, and who the waiting?
Diomedes, to his mother
Agamemnon, to his loving wife
Odysseus, to his dog
Who uttered the famous line "I shall return" and then followed it up with "I have returned"?
William Tecumseh Sherman
Arnaud du Tilh featured prominently in which of the following?
The Return of Martin Guerre
The Return of the Count of Monte Cristo
The Return of the Pink Panther
Return to Peyton Place
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Before the headline-grabbing Tudor dynasty, England was ramped from end to end by an even greater and more terrible family of kings and queens. They were the mighty Plantagenets, and a new book tells their story
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