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Liminal

I received your drawings
And the Letter in a yellow envelope
My therapist says that I still love you
That I can’t know what will happen
Were I to see you again

The drawing I liked best is of two people
Dancing
It says For you
It says I don’t know why they dance

Yesterday I went to see Miami Vice
For the third time.
I changed my mind about Sonny and
Understood Isabella’s anger Who are you?
She says after finding out he’s a good guy

Like her I could not face you—
We weren’t riding in a car but the landscape
All these colors living in the sky
The morning so pale
I never quite knew if I was dead

Are we ever free to choose what we know?
And did we make the moves on each other too?

The scene that got to me is at the end
Both sit outside,
On steps
in front of a blue/green house,
Overlooking the sea
Isabella places her head on Sonny’s
Shoulders he wraps his arm around her
At some point you see his fingernails
I think he had a habit of nail biting
When he was your age
She wears her hair open

Impossible to love and live at the same time
For all his guns, determination and beauty
This habit of his to twitch his lips, to stare into
The horizon out of windows, like you he was
Into negotiating percentages—

The space between the land and the sea—
It cannot be negotiated

A critic called Miami Vice a drama
that is ultimately about contained freedom
I thought of you when Sonny’s Shadow enters
The hospital
You were never strong

You live with your parents now
On a farm
From what I don’t know, you’re still into
Criminal behavior

You blew my cover

Christine Herzer is a poet and visual artist. I paint inside out; I write outside in. My poems stage locations for private, public & global intensities to happen in. I desire language. I make mouth stamps. Christine divides her time between Paris and India. In 2008 she was invited to read her poetry for the literary journal Upstairs at Duroc, the Ivy Writers Reading Series in Paris, and Re-Loquations, Talking Poetry in Mumbai. Her poems have appeared in Louis Liard Magazine, Fogged Clarity, Upstairs at Duroc, and New York Quarterly (forthcoming). She will graduate with a MFA in Poetry from Bennington College in June 2009.

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